Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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