I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize