Do vagina's smell?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
