I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
