i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize