So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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