I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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