We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
