Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i came on her dog
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize