Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize