Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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