I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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