I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
