I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize