you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
