I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
