This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think people are normalizing furries
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
