HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
