I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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