Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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