So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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