doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
No subtext here. People are naked.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
