Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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