you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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