"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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