Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
