My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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