Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
