laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
