Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
