Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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