....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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