You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
