Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
