Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
