Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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