We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
