why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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