..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
