ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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