we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
