im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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