There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
being pregnant is like rehab
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize