addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
