I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
