I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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