We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
