You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
