DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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