I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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