The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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