She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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