At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
