playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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