I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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