No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
