Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There r osticjed everywhere
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
