Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
