Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
