He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
