It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
