i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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