he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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