Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
