I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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