he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
